im so stressed out...

this isnt asking for advice i just need to vent this out. so i’ve recently came to a few realizations.

1. the baby’s dad and i won’t work out how i’d want us to.

2. im going to be a single mom

3. i should’ve left when he first cheated.

im 5 months pregnant now and when i was 2 months i found him talking to a few girls we stopped talking for a while and now he wants to work things out for when he comes back to state. he claims he wants us to try things out again but i just cant find it in me to ever trust him again & idk if i’ll be able to even after he comes back from NYC, its bugging me so much. i know its my fault that we wont work out how i want us to but its just so hard to trust someone who’s talked to a lot of females while i was pregnant(he never had sex w any) but still. he was flirty. he doesnt respect me and i just dont understand anything thats going on. i dont wanna question god cus i know everything happens for a reason & its my fault for not leaving the first time he actually cheated and now im pregnant. This all just hit me because i just realized he doesn’t care, he says he wants us to work out for the better, give it another try for the baby too but he doesn’t put in the effort but idk if its him or if its me cus i pushed him away. my feelings are so mixed im stressed out