I haven’t really told anyone this but my mental problems all started years ago when my mother would move from boyfriend to boyfriend and drag us along. Her most recent husband and her worked for the court and in law enforcement. When we would fight they would hold me down and beat me until i couldn’t breathe. I remember one time in eighth grade my step day got on top of me and banged my head and shoulders into the tile so hard i don’t remember anything until i woke up the next day with my back entirely bruised and my head pounding. Every time I’d try to fight back it’d make it worse. I could never tell my dad, it would break his heart. It slowed down a bit. And then i got into my first serious relationship. He was and still is what i consider my best friend. But after two years together i noticed his anger. The way he would shove me down when we fought, he’d shove me against walls so hard I’d lose my breath. It progressed to the point where if we fought in the car he would speed into oncoming traffic and try to kill us. The day i left him he hit my dogs and tried to fight my dad. Months later, this newcomer came into my life. He made me happy, happier then ever before. I was with him the night my mother beat me for being on “drugs” when i was not even close to being associated with them. I had to look him in the eyes and explain that the scratches on my face, the black eyes, and busted lips has happened before. He encouraged me to do something about it and i did. I now no longer live with my mother, and if she comes anywhere near me I promised her i would go to the police with evidence. After that you’d think everything is better, right? Yeah me too, but then my boyfriend started the mental games. He would cheat, and accuse me. He would make me feel like a whore because of my past, he makes me feel so ignorant and stupid even when i know I’m not. I have never felt less of a person than i do when I’m with him. I tried breaking up with him once and he threw a glass table across the room. I’ve been terrified ever since. I love him as stupid as it sounds. I want to be his future but i don’t understand how everyone in my life seems to do this thing to me.