I dunno what to do...

Hey ladies I need some advice. Okay to start with I'm 19 years old, when I was 16 I got pregnant with my son, the Father and I broke up. Around my 4th month of pregnancy I met a wonderful guy lets call him M. M and I were really good together. He treated me like a queen and my children's father did not. Stayed the whole pregnancy, cut my son's cord because the Father didn't wanna be involved. When the Father came back my son was 1 month old and I felt like I needed to make a little family work so I left M for a month, got pregnant again with my second child but didn't know. My kids father and I split, M messaged me the same day and came over. From that day on for 3 years M and I have been off and on. He helped me with my pregnancy every time we were on. We have many faults in our relationship. He would alway gawk at other females, okay let me correct myself Blonde girls. I noticed no girl got his attention like a blonde. He had a second Facebook and messaged another girl even though she lived in another state. He deactovated and deleted that facebook. He was very wishy washy cause were young. He wanted to be a dad but at the same time wanted to go out to parties but never did. My faults were i was extreamly jealous after everything,  and get angry quickly, but anyways we could never stay away from each other no matter how hard we tried always found our way back. He started smoking pot badly, drinking a lot, doing acid(the cause we're because we broke up). He'd get in fights with his real dad and I'd always save him if he was in trouble. I was always there for him when he needed me and vise versa. Fast forward. M and I got back together about a month ago. For about a week. He moved an hour away and I went to see him, he and I were good but his neighbor bugged me badly. She would walk into his house without knocking cause when him and his family moved there I guess they all became pretty close and she was his best friend. He'd told me when we'd hung out one night as just "friends" and talk that they'd flirt and shit, I know he was trying to make me jealous and it worked. I kinda put all the bad aside because my heart really loves him. Well he came to stay the night at my house and we were cuddling, he pulled away from me to text her back as soon as she texted. I got mad and we got into a fight. I realized that no matter how hard we try our relationship never works our because I'm so jealous after our past that I wasn't okay with him being friends with females, or anything like that. I was bawling my eyes out and he continued to text her....So now I was beyond mad. I told him I want to be done, I can't do it. I can't handle this new best friend of his. We fought some more and he told me she was on her way to pick him up. So I pulled some shit cause that really made me mad. I said not at my house she can pick you up else where. So I dropped him at a store and left him there. I parked near by to make sure he did get picked up safely by her. He did. I got home and was so upset. I blocked him because I was so hurt. Now I met a new guy lets call him A. We knew each other for a while. When M and I would break up for a couple weeks at a time I'd try to talk to other people. Anyways he asked me out and I said yes. We've been dating for almost 2 months now. He's such a good guy, very sweet, does anything I ask of him, just perfect. My problem is that I talk about M all the time without really knowing I'm doing it and he gets pissed. I try to stop but can't. I really like A, quiet a lot but I really love M at the same time. I dunno what to do. No matter how hard I try it seems like I'll never get over M. I've thrown the few relationships I'd ever gotten in after M and Is break up away for M just to go back and have the same old

problems. He's hurt me so much and yet I still love and care about him so much, everyday I still think about him. I've tried everything and still I feel there isn't any getting over M. I don't want to lose A, but I can't let go of M even trying to. Any advice?? M was a really good guy but he just chabged after a while, A is a good guy but I cant let go of M and it makes him mad. (Also my children are taken care of well. their Dad and I do co parent nice. I do have a job since the first comment already makes me feel like that's gonna be an issue. )