Any advice on how to get my baby to play independently?

Question

She almost constantly needs to be entertained by me or held by me, which is fine except, I can’t get anything done around the house or even have a few minutes to just sit while she plays because she’s always whining if I’m too far away, or trying to get me to read her a book for the thousandth time, or wanting me to play right beside her. 
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely know that playing with her and engaging her and all that is important BUT I feel like she should be able to, for a few minutes, entertain herself or play independently if I’m just on the couch or doing dishes or something. Any advice on how to get her to be more independent?

Answer

This might sound counter intuitive but it’s what I read and supposedly works, I’ve been doing it with my son since he was very young and he plays independently really well, but that might also be his personality, but may be worth a shot. Anyways sit on the ground with your daughter wherever you want her to play. Do not look at your phone or do something else you’ll need to fully focus on her while you’re building her confidence to play independently, you don’t need to do this all day, maybe just an hour a day as she learns or the most you can manage. Tell her at the beginning she has your full attention until nap time or snack time or whenever (don’t use clock time use something that marks time and is easier for them to understand). So sit next to her on the ground and don’t try to make her do anything, you can make her toys and books accessible but don’t pick one up and try and get her interested. If she stays glued to you let her, be nice and smile but don’t really engage her, don’t play peekaboo or song songs. If you see her looking at her toys praise that, encourage her to go to them if she seems interested, if she brings one back to you be nice but not engaging. If she gets upset be kind and help name emotions but again don’t start singing and playing tickle monster or something. You can hug and cuddle if she needs it but don’t be the game/entertainment. If she tries to make you entertain her be kind but not engaging. So for example if she brings a book say “wow, what a fun book! You got that all by yourself!” If she’s playing around with the book say things like “you’re reading that book? Are you looking at the pictures?” Try not take the book or point out specifics basically you’re there supporting her. Try and maintain that type of interaction with any toy she brings to you. If she plays by herself keep watching her anytime she looks at you smile and give encouragement. “You’re doing so good playing with that toy!” Or “good girl playing so well!” Whatever type of praise come naturally to you. She’ll start seeking your approval less and less. Also since they are becoming toddlers you might wish to schedule 45 minutes to an hour (or how long you can) completely undivided attention time, put up a written schedule for the day, show them what the day will look like, tell her when one on one time is, and tell her at the beginning that this is one on one time. Obviously you’ll still play and interact throughout the day but it can be good to have something clearly dedicated because children love consistency and predictability it makes them feel secure. When our toddlers know for sure that the attention time is coming and they know they have it every day it can really help, she might not grasp it just yet but it’s good to start and then it’s already in place when she does fully understand.

Answer

It could be like an attachment thing bc my son went through that early probably around 8-10 months and we couldn't try to walk away without him freaking out but it got better and now that he is walking he will kinda do his own thing but something he just wants us...i think our reason is bc my husband and I both work full time so he misses us. Does she have engaging toys that would keep her focused for a little while?

Answer

My daughter is the same way. What I started doing was leaving her in her room while I use the bathroom (I bring the monitor) and tell her over and over that I will be right back. In the beginning she cried now she says back and goes plays. But as soon as I come back she starts whining again. There’s only been literally 3 times she’s left the room I was in and gone into her room to play for a few mins. She prefers to be able to see me at all time but she will give me those minutes to use the bathroom lol

Answer

I feel you! My daughter will cry and try to climb up my legs if I’m doing the dishes. I can put her favorite movie on and snacks on the coffee table but the second I walk into the kitchen, she just runs after me screaming. We can CLEARLY see each other if im in the kitchen and she’s in the living room. But she thinks it’s like the worst thing ever. I’m interested to see what kind of advice you get because I could use it too.

Answer

My son went through separation anxiety around 12 months. He is at the tail end of it now, and has started to wander the house again. He even got halfway up the stairs last night! haha 
Maybe its just a phase? Has she ever been more willing to play by herself?

Any advice on how to get my baby to play independently?

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