How to feel about 2017

How to describe 2017..... 🤔

Best and worst year all in one. Best because I gave birth to my beautiful first born baby in April, the love I felt when I got handed my baby in my arms for the first time was just magical. Holding my own little one and feeling so proud to call him my son. Got everything I always wanted!

I’ve always wanted my own family, worked out perfectly with my OH because he had his hearts set on a career and I had my hearts set on running the home and being a stay at home mum.

Here comes the worst part....

Our whole dream became shattered when our son was just hours old. He passed away in our arms, he was very premature. Still to this day I don’t understand why we lost our precious baby. I ate healthy all throughout the pregnancy, took prenatal vitamins months before and throughout, took things easy, I don’t drink/smoke/no drugs.

Our dream had turned into a nightmare within a short space of time.

This pain is undescribable, I ache for my baby every single day.

I’m not making any new years resolutions and I’m not having any faith that 2018 will be any better, I don’t even want to hope incase I jinx it. I just wish I could have a short clip to show what my future holds, I’m terrified if I’m honest.

Anyways, Merry Christmas to you all. Hope you have a lovely one 💓