My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and when we first met he told me he was “divorced.” What he meant was he had been separated for almost a year, wasn’t wearing a ring, wasn’t going back. Well, fine. But, separated ain’t divorced and they’re both from different countries (the UK and Russia) neither of which have a “legal separation” status. (Yes, our relationship is long distance too.)

I’ve waited a long time to get angry about it, not wanting to put pressure on him. But, now, after being together a year and being in love, I’m frustrated and so close to offering an ultimatum.

He says she’s difficult and the reason he hasn’t taken care of it is admittedly selfish, not wanting to “deal” with her and not wanting to hire a solicitor for expenses, but c’mon! Where are his balls? Should I offer an ultimatum? Or am I just being impatient and crazy?