This what infertility looks like. It hurts! If I would of kept all the tests I would have taken, my whole bed would be covered in HPT's. I was pregnant multiple times, just didn't make it the whole 9 months. I never thought that I would be the one going through this. My husband has been my rock and stuck by my side. I've taken supplements and etc to help us. I've cried and screamed. I've got angry with God. My relationship with Garrett was getting tough. We was fighting like cats and dogs. Going through recurrent miscarriages is very heart breaking. We had hopes, plans, and dreams for our losses. You get on social media and boom there are announcements, newborn photos, family photos, and baby bumps EVERYWHERE. It makes the baby fever go up high! I really want to hold my baby in my arms. I want to watch my baby grow. I want to be the best mom that I can be. I want experience motherhood. I am experiencing some motherhood with Tonya but I want to experience more. I love Tonya and she's my daughter. I wouldn't trade her for the world. She's special to me but so bad I want to give her a sibling. She's been asking for a baby sister. No matter how hard we try... something bad happens... we are seeing a specialist to help us grow a family... but my husband and I are just gonna rely on God. His timing is perfect. We will keep praying for our sweet baby and one day will be able to hold him or her, and watch him or her grow ♡

#infertilitysucks