I’m 38 and a year ago we found out we were pregnant for the first time (ttc for a year), and a month later I suffered a miscarriage. Even though I was only 8 weeks, I was completely devastated and heartbroken. It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through.

In May we started ttc again. Dec 15th I got my first vvvvfp. Dec 18th (14 dpo) I went to the doctor and my hgc was 112 and progesterone was low so started a prescription. Dec 20th hgc was 182 and progesterone went up a lot. The doctor said hgc is still in the normal range, but low, and to come back next week. Stopped at the hospital today on the way home from spending the holiday with my family and should hear tomorrow.

Bottom line is that I’m just terrified. Last time I wasn’t worried or scared until the bleeding started. Now I’m constantly afraid that the other shoe is going to drop. I check for blood all the time. I’m worried if my boobs don’t hurt as much as they did yesterday or if my nausea is better than it was yesterday. We have only told my parents and one close friend.

I already have fallen in love with this baby, and I just want to be a mother more than anything in the world.

I hope there are others who can relate to this - did anything help you?!