So a post I just saw got me thinking about my first kiss... a very uncomfortable semi traumatic experience I pretty much blocked it out until now. I’m now starting to wonder if it would count as sexual assault or not? Now that I’m older and know more I’m starting to realize it was a big deal and I wasn’t over reacting like my friend said I was. I just want honest opinions and thoughts from you ladies please.

When I was 13 about to turn 14 I was at the end of summer dance my church held for all high school aged youth when one of my older guy friends(16 almost 17) I had met earlier that summer at a youth retreat asked me to dance and I said yes because we were friends and I enjoyed talking to him and figured he was being nice as it was my very first dance not meant for little kids (ie no games and prizes and things for younger kids) , and it was great I was having fun until he unexpectedly pushed me into a corner and started to/tried to make out with me. I ended up breaking his toe with my heal trying to get out of his grip and when I found my best friend and told her what just happened while I was trying not to cry she just told me I was rude to have hurt him and that I should have been flattered that and older boy wanted to kiss me... back then I felt like I was at fault and like I should apologize for how I acted ( which I did do) and blocked it from my memory and never told anyone else. I’m now 20 and happily married but sometimes I have issues of my husband tried to surprise kiss me and I had a panic attack the one time he tried to be sexy and kiss me against the wall. Anytime our sexual relationship becomes anything close to me being restricted or kissed with out warning i get really uncomfortable. Could my first kiss have something to do with this?