Am I married to a selfish man or a womanizer???

My husband and I have been married for almost two years now. We used to be HS sweethearts and reconnected 20 years later.

Since we’ve been married he has lied, talked to girls behind my back and even had an online dating account for one month, 5 months ago (he closed it before I even knew he had it). Since I found out about the online account he seems to be “trying”.... I asked him why did he have an online account? I asked him if there was anything I wasnt giving him? ...he said no and that he didn’t know why he did it and closed it because he knew it wasn’t right. He promised he wouldn’t mess up anymore.

if you’re wondering was there any red flags before we got married? Yes, there was a couple, like at first he had a password on his phone and would log completely out of FB every time he went on his phone. And the big one was after I made a big deal about having passwords.... I had a feeling to look at his phone (mind you he would never leave it unattended for more than a few minutes), he had a text from some girl he said was from the past... the text went on and on about I miss you so much and wish I could see you... he promised of course he wasn’t cheating. Well I forgave him... he proposed shortly after.

Since we’ve been married Ive had 2 back surgeries in the first year... that wasn’t good for us at all. I don’t know if I was just being a baby, but I felt so alone... it was like he wanted to get as far away from me as he could. He would go to the store 1-2 times a day and would say stuff like he didn’t want to be cooped up in the house (he knew I couldn’t go anywhere). But now all we do is stay inside.

Like I said earlier he is “trying” and I’m doing my best not to hold resentment and try to let go, but it’s so hard.

My husband asked for a nice belt and cologne for Christmas this year (he makes sure to tell me what he wants) ... I of course being a loving wife buy the items for him.

So... is my husband selfish or a womanizer?

He recently lost his job 2 months ago and just started a new one on 12/26 and I know he didn’t have extra money for Christmas gifts, but his dad gave him a Kohl’s $100 gift card a few days before Christmas and you would think he would buy me something for Christmas? No, instead he bought himself a pair of shoes. While we were in Kohl’s he tells me to just pick something out for Christmas there from him. (I bought new sheets for our bed... Whoopi!)

To top it all off he doesn’t seem to be into me, he barely initiates sex... I asked him a few months ago, “can we have sex 2 times a week, once during the week and once on the weekend?” He says, yes! But he hasn’t tried. In the last 20 days we’ve had sex 1 time!!!!

He doesn’t seem to care about my feelings or my desires.

Part of me feels like he wants to be with me because why would he be still here, but part of me feels like he isn’t really into me:(

I have never been with a man who has not wanted sex every chance he gets and I’ve never been with a man who has denied me sex.

We are 40 and have no kids together. We have a child each from previous relationship. We have every other weekend with no kids...so there is no excuse about kids around. Ughhhh I’m so frustrated. I want to tell him how I feel but that gets me nowhere... if anything it pushes him farther away.