So back when I was 15 I was in my first relationship. He was older (17 almost 18) and at first things were good, he was respectful. Then things started to change, first it was a forced kiss, second it was forced making out... as it went on things got more serious. I was young and a sheltered kid, I had no clue what happened in a relationship then. One he took advantage of me and raped me. He threatened me with my life and told me not to tell anyone. He said if I tried to leave him he would kill my family. I stayed because I was terrified he would follow his word. I feel like a failure for letting it go on and that I was a coward for letting it happen. One day, the best day of my life, he decided he was was done with me and left. I thought it was over and I could try to forget, that wasn't the case. I had no one to talk to and I fell into bad habits of drinking and self harm. After a few years I was 17 and randomly he showed up at my door and threatened me again. This time I would not let him hurt me, I fought. Of course he was much larger and stronger so I lost each time. Today I have severe problems and am seeking therepay. I want to know if it was my fault that this happened to me.