Libido problems and phobia

I hope someone has advice... My husband and I have been dating for seven years and in the beginning our sex life was great. However, since getting married three years ago I can only give him this physical love like once a month. The rest is just for baby making.... I don't know what happened to my libido and why I cannot stand having something wet on my body (water, sweat, cum, ...) anymore. It is like the unsuccessful TTC journey has frustrated me too much by now and I hate my body because of it (no one understands cause I am thin... as if that is automatically pretty; but to my husband I am perfect the way I am. I cannot believe it though). So, could anyone tell me how to start loving myself again and how to let go and just enjoy the closeness of sex?! Thank you so much 💕