I’m feeling isolated

I want this post to be anonymous because I don’t want anyone that I know to find this, they think I’m the happy girl that I am but when I go home I just cry, I have to drag myself out of bed to go to school, I cry myself to sleep and I literally feel like I’m in a bubble of suicide. I’ve been self harming since I was like 12 & I’m not 15, when boys have seen my scars they don’t know wat to say, there’s ones that r really supportive & them ones that think I’m a freak, I don’t know how to deal w my life rn & I just need some positive energy