My Almost First Time was a Disaster

I almost lost my virginity over the weekend and it was an absolute grade A disaster.

I’ve fooled around with past boyfriends before so hand jobs and oral isn’t new to me, but I’ve never had sex. I have been with my current boyfriend for a few months and this was the first time we went past kissing together.

So we are home alone and we are on the couch and things start getting hot. I decide I’m ready for more and he has a condom, so I think about it and yes I am ready to lose my virginity. We had been talking about it for awhile, but I had been on the fence until now.

So we move on to fooling around as a warm up. I get his pants off and start going down on him. I’m excited because I really like this guy and I’m confident he will treat me right.

And then I go to cup his balls...

Something isn’t right. I feel normal testicles but there is something going on with the hairs. Like it feels crusty and that is not normal. I have only touched maybe 3 pairs of balls in my life, but this just isn’t normal.

So I pull back and investigate this.

There are tiny little dark crusty things on his testicle hairs and I am more confused than ever.

And then I look at my hand.

These crusty things are on my hand you guys.

I look at him, with a “wtf is this” look. And he just has this horrified expression on his face. I know it’s not skin flakes because this stuff is dark and his skin as pale as a sunny day cloud.

So stupid me does the sniff test.

You guys... it was shit.

Dried shit flakes. ON. MY. HANDS.

I just sit there in horror for a second then I make a mad run for the kitchen because regular hand soap ain’t gonna cut this. I need the mothafuckin dawn!

He comes running after me, apologizing and offering to get in the shower to fix the problem so we can continue.

Boy, wtf. You have shit on your ball hairs, you ain’t get nowhere near my hooha. Hell no.

So he ended up going home and we haven’t spoken since. I want to break up with him because that is a major hygiene issue. I want to puke whenever I think about it. I still can’t even figure out how he let it get to that point?! Is that normal?