Letting go

I’m sad , I don’t know how to move on my first boyfriend my first for everything. I still have his selfies/nudes. I love all of him and miss him but yet again he blew up and I never replied so that was that. He wanted me but didn’t want a relationship. But I’m thinking when he used to come even when he was mad he is and was so loving holding me tight and everything and said no matter what I’ll always be his and he will be mine. Even when he gets mad , he always comes back no one is better etc etc. but I’m sad he won’t come back again but I felt In my heart it wasn’t going to anywhere , I deserved love , I deserved someone who wanted me. I’m just heartbroken asf and hoping he comes back 💔 as stupid as it sounds....