I’m 18 years old and have had 2 serious boyfriends. Both of them sexually assaulted me. I’m not sure if this is considered rape (some definitions say yes, others say no), but my first boyfriend would guilt trip me and threaten to leave me if I wouldn’t have sex with him. I was 14 years old. My second boyfriend, who knew about how much all of this hurt me and changed me, molested me and possibly raped me in my sleep my first night at college. He brought it up as a joke and was laughing about it. When he realized I was extremely angry and upset, he started to change his story and pretend like he was lying. When he realized I was going to leave him, he started to cry and say, “Maybe it was all a dream.”

Long story short, since all of this went down, I’ve only been attracted to men much older than me. It started out with me being attracted to a few of my professors that were in their late 20’s. Now I’m intensely attracted to a 35 year old man that I’m in theatre with. I don’t know why but I haven’t been attracted to guys my age. I think it might be due to my fear of getting sexually assaulted again by a guy my age due to immaturity, but I’m not sure. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?