So, today was one of the most emotional days for me in a long time. I had my very first prenatal appointment. It started out very well until I had to get my exam and ultrasound. Keep in mind I am 25 weeks pregnant and had never had an ultrasound done or any prenatal care period due to and insurance issue. So I had my discussion with my nurse and then went into do my initial exam. They did a routine check up and went to do the STD screening that I guess is required. Well, th lady said "you will only feel a little pressure but that's about it." Well, she lied. It felt like my entire urethra and vagina was being ripped apart and she said I started to bleed quite a bit. Well, she said it might have been from irritation but will go away within a few minutes. I went to the bathroom and when I went to wipe I had a ton of bright red blood on the toilet paper and it stung so bad to pee. The OB said not to worry as it will go away shortly. I then had to go into my ultrasound next. I went into the room and she started to do the ultrasound. She didn't talk at all expect for when she said "well you're still having a baby boy that has not changed." I looked at her and said "I'm having a boy? You didn't think too ask me if I wanted to know?" She just looked at me and said she was told I was already aware and was in for a check up. Well I started to cry really hard because I had so many mixed emotions. I was happy I was having a boy but I also didn't want to know. I only had the ultrasound for less than 5 minutes when it was supposed to be my anatomy scan. I asked for pictures and she said that she couldn't give pictures to me because she was just putting them in the records. I HAD NEVER EVEN SEEN MY BABY BEFORE... I was very upset with my ultrasound period. So the day went on and I was still very upset and to add to that whole mess, I still have not stopped bleeding and I have called and the only thing they told me was wear a pad and if the bleeding continues to stop in the morning to get an exam done. Other wise, I will not have another appointment until a month from today. According to the OB I was supposed to be scheduled every two weeks until 32 weeks and then twice a week from 32-delivery. I tried to tell the receptionist that and she looked at me sideways and said "this was your first appointment we don't do appointments any earlier than 4 weeks out after the first appointment." I tried to tell her what the doctor said and she said "well the doctor is wrong." I then said "I'm 25 weeks pregnant I can't wait until I'm 29 weeks to have my next appointment" she said "not my problem you came in so late for your first prenatal appointment." So I just took what ever date she would give me and walked out balling my eyes out crying. I really didn't think wanting to see my baby and get prenatal care would be so hard. My entire pregnancy has been nothing but stressful, upsetting, and hard. I kept being denied prenatal care and insurance. It's just been so hard and today just made me lose all hope for anything. According to the doctor I'm at a high risk for preeclampsia and some other BS so that's another thing to add onto my list of things that make my life hell. I'm sorry for ranting so much but I just can't take it anymore. I can't keep it in anymore.

Update:

I called the office the next morning and they said that they will schedule an appointment for me this Friday so I can have a more in depth ultrasound and get pictures. They are also going to reschedule my appointment depending on my ultrasound and lab results to an earlier date possibly at 27 weeks. They also said depending on results, I may be forced to go on light duty at work or bed rest.