Wedding help!??!


So i am getting married and I’m so freaking excited. I was always that girl who watched every episode of say yes to the dress knew exactly what designer i wanted for my dress and everything. Now that’s it’s here and I’m older I’m realizing i can not see myself in any of those dresses or even in that big wedding I’ve always thought I’d have. I am not the kind of person who likes a ton of attention on herself. That and the fact that we don’t have much time or money to spend on a wedding means courthouse wedding, which i love the idea of. It’s what we have agreed on and both want right. Well his whole family ( mine as well) want us to have a big wedding and have offered to pay for it if it’s money stopping us which don’t get me wrong that’s part of it. His grandma is calling around trying to set up everything including the pastor that married his parents to marry us without even saying a word to me. I don’t want to sound completely ungrateful because i really am and I’m so happy she wants to be involved. But i just don’t know that a big wedding is me. I honestly can’t decide it’s supposed to be in less than a month and i can’t make up my mind on courthouse or a small wedding. Ugh. One second i just want to go to the courthouse then go or to dinner the next i want the courthouse and a reception then i want a wedding in a church and a reception. I just can’t make up my mind on what’s right for me. I hate the idea that family members are pushing my choice as well.