Who else is at a standstill with their partner?

Question

I hate this. My husband and I are at a standstill. I want to start trying for a baby now, he still wants to wait 2 more years. But he has been saying that for the last 4 years. We have been married for 4 years, and we could take care of a child now. I don't see any reason to wait anymore, and it hurts that he still isn't 'ready'.

Answer

So my husband used to have an arbitrary age in his mind that he thought he would be “ready” to have kids. I basically told him that you will never feel “ready.” His original argument was that by 35 he would have accomplished his career goals. I said there’s no way he’s going to ever stop having career goals and if we had to wait for him to feel “done” with his career, then we would never have kids haha. Long story short, he agreed with me and we are 26 and now pregnant. He basically had to realize that his goals and dreams could still be realized with a family. I also scared him with the idea that after 35 I might not be able to have 3 kids.

Answer

My husband was adamant about accomplishing goals, being married, being financially stable and having some sort of “I’m Ready” epiphany before he’d agree to start trying for a baby. 
The older we became, married and doing well in our careers, the more he was faced with the truth: There’s never a perfect time, You can still succeed and the older you are when you start trying means the older you’ll be with young children instead of enjoying retirement. 
Every coworker assured him of the same things. They even added in “being a parent is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
He finally felt ready when he realized he didn’t want to be mistaken for our children’s grandfather at their graduations. 
We’ve been together for 8 years. We’re 28 and 30.

Answer

For us it was the opposite. My fiancé has been ready for 4 years, but I haven’t. I needed these years to travel, get to know myself better, focus on finishing my studies and start a career as well as just enjoying time together with my man, just the two of us. He waited patiently and supported me (which must’ve been terribly hard sometimes), and about a year ago I finally felt....ready enough to start trying. Now we’re 16 weeks pregnant and both are equally happy and excited. Maybe he does need a little more time and that time will make him a better father?

Answer

My husband and I went through the exact same thing. We've been together for 12 years, but only married since 2014. I spent some time trying to convince him to be ready, and then I realized that it was putting tension between us and if I made him think he was ready when he wasn't, he may resent me for it. As long as you have a solid relationship let him be ready when he's ready. Once our friends started having children, we babysat newborns and babies older and he realized the joy that a child can bring to our little family. It will most likely click before then I'm sure!

Who else is at a standstill with their partner?

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