FINALLY MADE UP MY MIND

so as the title says. ive finally made up my mind. I've sent Went back and forth for awhile tryna decide what to do. and I've decided that an abortion is what's best for me. the dad didn't want baby and I honestly can't do this alone. im trying to make peace with my decision but I'm scared. I suffer from depression. when my first born child and nephew drowned I couldn't function. my now 8 year old had to go live with my aunt because I couldn't get outta bed to take care of her. im afraid I'm going to sink in depression after its all said and done. and the dad says he will be there but he has already showed me he won't. I can't tell my family cuz I know their views on abortion. I just hope I don't drown in this.