My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and for the last year and a half we’ve been long distance. When I first moved away we broke up because we weren’t sure about distance. We basically had a long distance relationship during that time because neither of us could let go so we got back together. During that time one of his housemates became a good friend of his. She’s from the Netherlands and was only around for a few months before moving back. I have never met her because of that, but I have heard a lot about her.

Now I’m 100% ok with my boyfriend being friends with her. I trust him completely and have no concerns that she’ll become a problem because I know he wouldn’t allow that. He’d cut her out of his life if she crossed a line. But there’s a few things that I know about her that concern me. She doesn’t seem to have respect for relationships, including her own based off what Ive heard and pictures I’ve seen. Her now ex boyfriend also broke up with her very soon after her return to the Netherlands and apparently it had something to do with her behaviour while away.

So my issue is that I’m going to visit my boyfriend next month for a week. All our friends know the dates I’ll be in town and there’s no way she doesn’t know them either. Well my boyfriend called me asking me to log onto his Facebook and take a look at their conversation. Now we don’t have each other’s passwords because we don’t do the whole snooping through each others personal things. And he sounded pretty upset so I knew something was off. I go look at the messages and she’s apparently coming to visit at the same time I am. Like arriving an hour before me and leaving a few hours after I do. Which is impressive considering international flights into our city are hard to get at those times (I personally travel internationally through the Netherlands 1-2X a year and know the various routes and times very very well). She also wants to stay with him! He told her no, but she’s still trying to convince him it’ll be fine.

Something just doesn’t feel right to me and my boyfriend feels uneasy too. I know she had at least a crush on him when she lived with him (it was obvious to me but my boyfriend is totally blind to it, but that’s who he is). And since she doesn’t seem to respect relationships and this trip seems too much of a coincidence that I’m thinking she’s trying to do something to get between us! But I could totally be paranoid so I’m just looking for other people’s opinions! Thanks and sorry for this being so long!!