Why am I like this?

You get those girls who meet guys and get into relationships then you get the girls who get fucked around. I’m none.

So basically hated all the guys at my schools so I never had a bf in high school. Then there’s like 20 guys in my uni course who have a gf, aren’t into girls or I don’t find attractive. And it’s the same in my work, but fingers cross.

I basically only get guys when I go out or friends of friends. My friend is like me bc she works at her fam business but the difference is she’s the girl who get fucked around- they’ll taking for a couple of weeks/months then it’ll fizzle out and she’s left again at square one.

For me, it’s like they don’t message me so my friends are like “you do it first then” then they blank it or talk to me for a day to 3 days then blank me (no I didn’t have dry or boring conversation). I’ve had two guys message me first and I wasn’t interested- like I meet them on holiday, we live in different countries and I’m not into them.

So then after trying to talk to 4 guys who clearly didn’t want to talk to me it became clear to me. Don’t believe what a drunk man says. I would always get those guys being like “I wanna take you out/ Get a drink with you” and I used to believe it. Now when a guy says it or I give them my number I don’t except to get a text or anything from them. Honestly it’s the best thing bc I’m not even get my hopes up and it’s all good.

Then my friends come in and say “your so cold” or “cold bitch” bc I’m not sitting there in the taxi, like I used to, talking about the guy who I have my number to. And they give me the “You should text first” and I say no. Truth is they’ve never had the guy they have their number not texted them back so they don’t know that feeling of you and everyone else getting your hopes up to be rejected by a stranger that you shouldn’t care about.

I hate the fact I see my friends get bf then breakup then get another one or see them talking to the guy they meet last week. Truth is I’m so fucking tried of being this girl and for once I would take the girl who get fucked over after 3 months (even tho it’s shit).

I know there’s other girls like me bc none of my friends have experienced so they get shocked that I’m not texting the guy🙄.