I've been dealing with depression for years at 12 i was already suicidal. I'm about to turn 21 now.. I'm surprised that I'm still alive. I've never cared for birthdays, but this year I've decided go all out. I've managed to make a few friends over the past 2 years so I'm inviting them to the movies. I managed to even get a super sweet boyfriend, he calls me a dream come true.. The only problem is this has been going too good. I'm afraid that this is the calm before the storm, what if I get worse? I've been doing so good but I'm aware that even the tiniest thing could throw out this balance. I've had good years before, but not this good..I mean is there even a point to all this? I'm sure I'll end up destroying my relationship because it's so hard for me to relate my emotions anywhere other than text. My entire life I've been alone, even in a room filled with family members. I don't know what to do, I've been considering therapy but I don't want anybody to know what I've been struggling with. I'm sure they know. How couldn't anyone see?