i need some advice. im out of ideas


Hey ladies, i need some advice. Ill make this as short as i can. in sept. 2017 we lost our son (stillborn at 26 weeks).  i ended up preggers again way to soon. the SO wanted me to get an abortion because we moved and i wasnt able to do the follow up OBGYN appointments and he was afraid i wasnt healthy enough. went to a clinic and spoke with the DR. he said stuff like that sometimes just happens and given my labs i seemed fine and shouldnt have an issue with this baby (im 13w + some).  Ive been looking at things we will need, trying to make a plan. everything was fine, but the other day we went to babies r us to look around (we agreed to start buying, but small items first) and my SO kinda freaked. he said we should wait until im in the safe zone, and i had to explain that until we have the baby there is no safe zone and i think that set him off. he wanted to leave, so we did.  he told me he still feels bad that we got pregnant so soon and feels like we are just trying to forget about our son. i know how he feels, and ive tried to explain that we arnt, but nothing i say seems to help. the issue im having is do we start buying stuff soon and just pray it doesnt happen again or wait til i go to L&D; and be like well f**k now we dont have anything for the baby... and idk how to help him feel better about buying things. we are both afraid but im trying to be optimistic about it. i dont want to rush at 38 weeks to buy everything we are gonna need. anyone have any advice or suggestions?