I always thought being a mother was so glorious and amazing because honestly that’s the only way people portray it. You don’t see them up at 2 AM trying to console their baby, with tired eyes and messy hair. You only see them when they’re going about their day so effortlessly, looking so well put together, glowing from motherhood. Or on Facebook posting about how happy their baby makes them and how their life has only changed for the better since their new baby is finally here.

I see these mothers and I can only think down on myself. I feel like I’m the only one whose baby has trouble sleeping at night, cries and is sometimes inconsolable. I’m the only one who calls their mom asking for her help because i have no clue what to do sometimes whenever my baby won’t stop crying. I’m the only one who can barely get anything done during the day because I’m too busy trying to keep my baby happy. I never wear makeup anymore, I don’t even feel like myself.

A mom is all I ever wanted to be in life and now I’m questioning my sanity because this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I love my baby more than anything and I would do anything for him, but I feel like such a failure as a mom. I’m the mom who is trying to get her baby back to sleep at 2 AM, with messy hair, circles under my eyes, and trying to hold back tears because being a mom is hard and you never see any other mom in this state. It makes me feel like I just suck at being a mom.