I am an emotional wreck


Warning long long post

So I had my first appointment today.My appointment was scheduled for 9. I arrive around 10 minutes early to fill out paperwork and such. I get called back at 9:10, haven't finished paperwork yet, just a few papers short. I think ok, I'll have time to finish don't worry.They take my weight (we won't talk about that 😉) and height. And then take me to a room to wait.So I finish my forms,

and wait,

and wait

and wait...

I start for no reason at all becoming sad and depressed, thinking I'm forgotten and nobody cares about me.

Eventually after an hour, I pop my head out and ask if the doctor is coming soon. The nurse that took me to the room tells me she'll be there soon. I say "it's been an hour" and the doctor says (politely) I'll be there soon.

A few minutes later she comes in. She gets quick information, most of which honestly asked for on the forms, tells me when she wants me to come in for my next appointment. Let's me know that I have lab tests that need to get done before that. I ask clarification questions. She assures me that she put the info into the system for the receptionist when I schedule the appointment. One of the questions that I ask is if they have Saturday hours so that my husband can come, she says she's pretty sure that they do. I say ok and head to the front.

When I ask to schedule she says when's the next appointment for. I said that the doctor said 2 weeks for an ultrasound. She asks what kind... and I start to lose it and feel myself starting to well up. She whispers, "are you pregnant" not in a rude way at all, simply in a helpful way. She sees my impending break down, and takes care of me. I ask if the ultrasound can be scheduled for Saturday, apparently the techs are only there on Wed and Fri. So I maintain composure, and schedule my ultrasound and next appointment for Valentines day. A perfect day to hear my little one's heartbeat.

After everything is scheduled I go to my car to drive home. And break down into an ugly cry, and it gets worst when I realize that I can't stop and have no clue why it started.

What's worse, is my husband is away for work until Friday, and all I want is a hug.

Luckily, the dog knows how to hug, but he isn't a cuddler on the couch unless we're sick.

Thanks for letting me get that all out. I haven't told anyone about the baby yet, so I couldn't call anyone and let it all pour out.