Going straight into what happened this morning:

I just need someone to talk to...

Bf goes to bathroom at 4:50. I’m still in bed cuz my alarm doesn’t go off until 5:30. He finally comes back to bed at 5:20. I’m like yay let’s cuddle before my alarm goes off.

So I get all comfy and he gets comfy then he starts saying “you’re a cheater. You’re a bad girlfriend. I have other options out there.” I’m not saying anything cuz this ain’t the first time he’s said this. He says he keeps having dreams of me cheating on him and this and that... there’s a reason for it tho.

A few months ago, some of y’all may have seen that I said I posted nudes on tumblr. He found out, I deleted everything and my account. Doesn’t mean it’s not out there, but aside that, we fought and fought about it. He almost left me but decided to stay. We’ve been getting through it. I know it’s in the back of his mind all the time.

Sometimes I feel I’m not justified when I get mad about him calling me these things cuz I was all that when I did that. But now it’s like, well if you feel that way then leave me??? I can’t take it anymore, I know I hurt him but that doesn’t mean I have to take his words... I’m not justifying what I did, im trying to understand why is he being like this if we’re tryin to work on it.

Anyway, I got fed up with it so I just got up and started gettin ready for work. He goes “ omg now you’re all mad I was just playing with you, all I wanted was to cuddle you and now you’re mad, fuck I was just playing take a joke” like what??? That’s not joking. At random times he’ll call me a whore or a slut but he laughs so it makes it seem like he’s joking. But it’s been constantly as of late.

He gets all mad and says he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. We need to communicate to fix things and that’s his escape that he doesn’t want to talk to me and he’ll ignore me. I get so frustrated when he does that so I either cry or my voice gets all wonky.... we fight like two times a week it’s getting bad 😕 I feel like I ruined what we had. I try to keep my cool and realize when I’m wrong but I hate to say this, I feel like it’s all him that starts these things!!

I feel like he’s not happy with me anymore.... like he’s forcing himself to be with me (we still feel and do things like a couple) it’s just when he acts like that I feel so much hate from him. It’s gotta be pent up over time but I told him he needs to talk to me or fuck, talk to anyone! And he doesn’t want to!

I ugly cried in the car on my way to work because I’m tired of this! Either you want to be with me or not! Either you want to fix this or not! You chose to stay, so let’s work on this!

Ladies help me, I don’t want any negative comments about my past, we know what I did.