I don’t know what to do...

First time poster here and hopefully I can glean some advice. I’m nearly 30, between 21/touching 22st and now i’ve been taken off my pill as I’ve now got high blood pressure (I had the pill since 2004 as I had bad, painful and loooong periods).

The lightest as an adult I’ve been is 19st12lbs and that’s only because I was unemployed after uni and didn’t eat lunch. I know I have the propensity to not stick to portion sizes, however I eat at such odd times, brekkie very early then lunch at 2 then won’t get home till 8 and bumpy the time I could be bothered to make anything it’s time for bed. So exhausted.

Had a doctors appt yesterday and he told me then and basically said ‘you know what I’m gonna say’ and I burst out into tears because how the hell am I to lose weight, when I’m up at 7 every morning with 1hr30m drive to work and back, home at 8-10pm and utterly exhausted. On my feet constantly being a lab tech so cleaning a lot, burning cals. I get paid pittance so I’m basically in debt (+ £8000 cc debt) and working for nothing. Living at home and it’s a struggle, both financially trying to contribute as my mum is disabled and she’s a hoarder of sorts so I’m getting slowly enclosed. Doc suggested weight watchers and I thought how the fk am I gonna pay for it?!?

Also felt low at the weekend, my sis is a plus size bridal model (if you call size 16 plus size) and seeing everyone that day look beautiful in gowns made me cry thinking I won’t look like that. My sis is also getting married, I’m Maid of honour and I feel like I look like a rugby player pregnant elephant despite the beautiful royal purple dress.

To top it all of I’m yearning for a partner so bad, so much love to give and want to have fun but I feel like no one likes a fat girl (no offence anyone but I have zero confidence). Getting more and more depressed and feel stuck in a hole, suffocating and can’t get out.

I really want to love and be loved.

Any advice or tips would be helpful.❤️