lost confused and broken

my husband and I used to have a wonderful rock solid relationship. we lost our 3rd baby back in June and it destroyed him and our relationship. It has been so hard, he refuses counseling. He won't come to church with me. He has become someone so different yet blames me. Do I struggle? yes Is it hard me? yes however I see that. He has always thought he was perfect that he does no wrong ( he was raised to think he is better than everyone) He recently told me he would rather put a gun to his head than be married to me forever... he use to never speak badly to me now it is every week. Idk what to do.