Miscarrying right now

The app says its day one of my new period, and says “indulge yourself”. So here I am, indulging myself in some self pity.

Got a bfp on Thursday! We were so excited to have an October Rainbow baby—set to be due a week or two before our one year anniversary of the loss of our first pregnancy at 11 weeks.

Excitement was short lived when I woke up today to cramping and spotting. Spent half the day hoping for just really heavy implantation bleeding. But as it got heavier and heavier, and bigger and bigger clots. I just knew. It’s my period. It’s a chemical.

I never thought this would be my journey. I don’t know how strong I am, but I’ll definitely push my heart to the limits to take home a baby.

Thanks for indulging me.