advice needed please‼️

okay, i am a really jealous girlfriend. i have extremely bad panic disorders and trust issues based on past relationships and occurrences. my current boyfriend is the sweetest, most understanding man in the world. anything that makes me insecure or worried, he eliminates immediately. we talk about this stuff a lot, but i can not stop myself from being paranoid and thinking he wants someone else, even though he does everything in the world to show he doesn’t. i can’t stop trying to change myself to what i think he wants and i just need advice on what to do.. i’m honestly thinking he’s tired of dealing with me. am i a horrible girlfriend for being like this?