Why can’t I?

When I look at myself in the mirror, I worry. I worry about that one little stretch mark that’s popped up on my belly. I turn to my sides and it only get worse, red marks that dot my skin here and there. When I wear my bikini out swimming in a public place. I feel like people look at my marks, marks that are common on any woman. I keep trying to reassure myself that there are others around me too that share this common issue and feelings. That’s when I decided to look around me, at woman who are roughly my size or bigger. I see them sporting bikinis as well and think to myself, she’s pretty. She’s my size and she’s pretty and carefree. I scan some more being careful not to make others feel self conscious that someone is looking at them. I don’t do it maliciously, I’m only seeing them and using them as inspiration. I saw a girl who was skinnier than me, and she had marks as well. They all sport the same self confidence of a woman with a size 2 waist. (At least on the outside they do, you never know a persons internal struggles) I look at myself and compare her to I, and that’s when I realize. Why can’t I? Why can’t I wear a bikini and be proud? Why can’t I walk around carefree and feeling sexy in my own skin? Why can’t I be happy with who I am? Then I let go of my worry and look at my fiancé whose just smiling a mile wide smile, with the eyes of a man who loves the person in his sight whether I’m a size 2 or 42. I realize that as long as I’m happy and that I’m comfortable. No one is going to stop me from being proud of who I am, or put me down for it.