You ever had a dream that put you in your feels?

I had a dream that I got to visit everyone that I know/knew that is dead

Including my friend from highscjool who committed suicide

I was told that I could not tell them that they are dead. I don't know who told me that.. I don't remember that.

I show up at this unfamiliar door step and look into the window. Inside, is my friend from highschool.

I literally attacked the door and broke in and screamed in his face and started crying. I don't really know how he reacted or what he said, I was too busy looking at him and touching his hair because I always used to touch his hair every time I saw him because he had crazy hair that he teased to high heaven. it's stupid but I was so emotional.. he died, it was impossible to be seeing him but I was.

Then we sat and talked like nothing ever happened.

I got to visit my grandmother too, I enjoyed that. We talked for a long time, in a garden?

Sometimes my subconscious mind is really fucking nice to me. I enjoyed that dream so much. I feel like i actually spoke to these people and visited them. My mind did that for me and that is beautiful.

I have been emotional all day even though I know it wasn't real. It felt real.

I know this is probably extremely stupid. Losing people sucks and it's nice when you can feel like you've seen them again even if it is only in a dream.

Now that I can edit this I am. I just have to talk about it. I didn't scream at him in a bad way, it was just oh my god I'm looking at you when that's all I've wanted to do for years. I can't believe how well I have him memorized. We were not ever together, it was never like that for either of us. But I miss him so fucking bad, now even more that I feel like I've seen him.

At the end of my grandmothers life, she was telling me that she didn't have much longer. She knew she was going to die soon I don't know how but she did and hell she was 98 so it was taken seriously. I don't remember all of the conversation I had with her in the dream but I know she was like "my time is coming" and I would just tell her it was okay to go. I don't know why? It was a pain not being able to tell them they have died. In my childhood I spent a lot of time with her in her back yard and garden, talking about the birds. That's exactly what we did in the dream. Apparently if I told them that they had died I would lose them again. I didn't lose them until I said bye and when I said bye to my grandmother she waved at me and I woke up. It was a powerful dream to me.