Trying to stay strong!

Monday Im supposed to be 9weeks(not really sure anymore?) I had a miscarriage in 2016 I didn't even know I was pregnant at the time.. Since I found out I was pregnant this time nothing has gone right. I have had some bleeding.. There still is no fetal pole my doctor sent me to a specialist, and the lady told me my gestational sac is a weriod shape(kinda looks like a 🍌), and there is no heartbeat. She said she thinks I might have a miscarriage! I want this baby more than anything, I refuse to believe I will lose my sweet pea!