I'm 5 weeks pregnant. I've had 2 miscarriages in the past 6 months and I'm honestly expecting to lose this one as well. My mind won't let me get excited or attached to this one to save me from the heartache. Not that there's anything that can ease the pain. I keep getting these glimmers of hope thinking, "maybe this one will actually work out," only to shatter that dream and get back into my reality. I want so badly to enjoy this pregnancy, while it lasts that is, but I just can't do it. I refuse to tell anyone, including my doctor, to save me from the embarrassment and the pity. I have suffered from depression all my life, never medicated and honestly, I'm not ok dealing with this pregnancy. I want the child and I don't regret it, I just am so scared as to what is going to happen this time. I cry every single day and it's so unlike me. I usually don't show my feelings and only cry ever so often. I just don't know what to do.