help advice something. trapped

ok ladies i need help advice words...something lol. i have a child from a previous relationship and my husband and i have been trying for one of our own....supposedly. he keeps losing his erection while we have sex and it takes hours which takes all of the enjoyment out of it. he does masterbate in the shower as soon as he gets home from work sometimes to cam girls and old pics on his phone usually making us wait for him with dinner and meaning we cant have sex bc he wont be able to finish or work correctly. this is a huge blow to my self esteam. i left my job and moved with him to a small town where i cant find a job and he uses our only car so i have to walk every where and i feel trapped. he is a huge flirt and loves attention to the point where we cant go anywhere or do anything without waving to a million people on the way there...getting stopped...flirting in front of me where im just kindof standing there awkward and somehow. its my fault. his family is open to him about how im no good for him and im ruining his life...not quite sure why. yes ive gone to counselling and other than telling me that his family is emotionally abusive and i should volunteer somewhere (rarely anything going on) thats it. he wont go to counselling with me and everytime i try to tell him how i feel he leaves or tells me its my fault bc im not loving enough to him. i feel trapped and im tempted to join friend finding/dating sites (just for friends i will not cheat on my husband) which i feel is wrong...or is it? ugh i just feel so low at this point i want to run away ☹. thanks for letting me vent i know that was really long for those who read the whole thing