I just need someone who will listen

I never pity myself. I've always been a strong girl. But I'm having the hardest time right now. I'm pregnant with a guy I was just starting to get to know. It was unexpected and so sudden. He doesn't want a baby right now. He thinks terminating is smarter for us because we barely know each other and have only been seeing each other for 3 months. The thought of abortion breaks my heart. No I'm not ready for a baby. But I'm not strong enough to go through and have an innocent life pay for my foolish choice of sex without protection. because it isn't this little human beans fault! I feel like the moment I told him he immediately became unattracted to me. We barely text. unless it's to argue about this situation. We don't hang out. He's constantly upset (not with me, just with this situation). I told him I'm keeping the baby. He said I'm so young and don't realize how life altering it will be. (I'm 21 btw). I'm the kind of person who hates inconveniencing others.So I said to him I'll take the fall and do this on my own before I abort it. He said I'm not gonna fuck off I'm not that kind of guy. I'll be there for the kid but you know where I stand and how I think the timing is just off for us and how a baby doesn't bring people together and we can't have a relationship between him and I because it would be forced. I said that's fine. But it still hurts because I was crushing on this guy. Loving how he was a country boy who treated me right and made me feel worth something. But now it's like we're just going to coparent and it breaks my heart. I went to my dating ultrasound last week and I saw my little bean on the screen and I didn't even respond. I guess some people laugh or cry. I was just like oh well there's my human. I feel down but before I was more excited. maybe it's just reality sinking in. But deep down I feel like I am making the right choice. This baby is of God. Who am I to decide to end it's life? But i do feel quite alone. I have not told my family (the ultimate Bible believing Baptist brigade) I'm afraid I'm going to break their hearts. I know this is not what they wanted for my life. it's not even what I wanted for my life. But I think it will be easier to tell them I'm pregnant as oppose to saying I was pregnant but I aborted it. Idk. I'm reading stuff on glow and all you mamas and mama to bes seem like such wonderful people. I guess I just want you guys to maybe keep me in mind and maybe pray for me as I deal with this new life changing event. A lot could change but right now I guess I'm keeping my hopes up for October 6th 2018 and I'm praying that God will use me for His will no matter what.