WARNING LONG BUT WORTH IT

I have been TTC for about 1.5 years. Have had 2 MC, still no success. I'm losing hope. I have pcos, my pituitary gland produces too much prolactin and my testosterone levels are super high. (some may not know ovaries produce testosterone) I have gained oh so much weight in the midst of all this and I can't seem to lose it. I have sex on a schedule it's like a second job for me but still nothing. I haven't had a period since October 1. my doctors have begun trying to help me in any way they can but to me I don't know if I can do it. plus my insurance (that I don't even have yet) doesn't cover stuff like that. so if you're feeling like you've lost all hope and everyone is saying it's okay or your time will come. it's okay to think well bitchy betty down the road is pregnant and it was an accident and here I am been trying for so long and nothing or having so many issues as to why. And it's okay to be like why me why not so and so why not slutty Sally and it's okay to think damn you whoever (in my case I blamed my mom). It is okay if you need to take every pregnancy test out of the casing! it doesn't harm them you just shouldn't do that with digital. I'm here first hand to tell you, at only 20 years old this is all happening to me. they don't know if I'll ever be able to carry to term. I have an amazing fiance who tells me I look amazing but back in September of 2016 when I randomly put on 60 lbs for no reason I didn't feel beautiful and I still don't due to the fact I can't lose weight. I've been suicidal. it's okay. it's okay to cry and be sad. one day hopefully we will get whay we long deserve.