Leaving an abusive marriage

Let me start my saying I’m not good with communication.

I have been distancing myself from my husband and after many times of him asking me what’s on my mind, and me not wanting to be bothered.. I decide to write it out.

That’s what I do, I write. 5 pages front and back. I read it to him. Pouring my heart out and telling him I no longer can be married to him.

Pause. Let me clue you in. In 6 years my husband hasn’t held a job, has mentally and physically abused me, I’ve stayed thru that and his addiction to heroin. ( he’s been off it a while, at this moment hu must have his medicine and weed to “survive”) He’s mentally cheated I can’t prove physical. He actually have a court date May 1st for a domestic charge.

He cut me off as I read my heart to him, he knows I’m not good at communicating my feelings. I get nervous because his body language doesn’t say “I understand” it says “fuck you” and it’s all my fault.

He didn’t hear me out on my feelings of how bad this hurts me, he simply said.. with a smart ass attitude... “all I need to hear is you want a divorce and don’t wanna work is out”. I don’t wanna type out the letter but I’ll say that in it I explain my heart, and in detail why I feel why I do and more.

If he would LISTEN he’d heard that. But since I even had to write that letter and then he wouldn’t even hear me out. I think I’m right in the way I feel.

Just hurts... I’ll be leaving and it’s for the very best for my sake. But damn it’s gonna be hard. I’m 22.. been with him since I was 16. Married at 18, he’s 9 years older than me.

Any words on encouragement on leaving an abusive relationship and turning out better than ever.... please comment.... thank you...