no such thing as sex in my life😑

My husband and I tried having a quicky tonight. So our kids see us walking to the room and ask where we're going. I tell them we're going to change and get ready for bed. we get inbound bedroom, lock the door and not even 3 minutes later we have my 7 and 5 year old knocking at our door asking what we're doing? why is the door locked? why are the lights out? are you kissing in there? I can see their hands under the door through the gap 😒. So we decided to stop and just try again later. we get dressed open the door and they're glued to the door and run in. It smells weird in here!!! one of them shouts😮. My other child says I think I smell butt😂. We seriously have to wake up at 2 or 3 am to have sex or else we wouldn't be having any. and even then it's like they can detect it sometimes. they just happen to have a nightmare when were trying to get it on. story of my life. who's with me?? lol