It’s crazy because I try overall to be happy but my feelings what been on an extra loopy roller coaster since this pregnancy. I’m 9 weeks and I want to be excited but I feel bleh. I honestly think it’s because I feel so unsupported in my pregnancy. God willing this will be my first baby I had 2 prior pregnancies. My boyfriend has. 3 year old son. Things have been rocky lately even before pregnancy. Overall things have gotten better. I jus really really feel alone. I feel like no one understands me. I recently told my family the news on Sunday at my 30th birthday party. They were shocked but all ate happy. Boyfriend mom on the other end.. she was very shady in her response and I am very taken back from it. He tells me to stay happy that I can’t expect anyone to be happy like me.

I jus feel unsupported. He does not seem excited. I asked him to remind me to cal the pharmacy because my prenatal needed a refill. He did not & when I remembered I had one pill for that day and the doctor ordered a new prenatal that cost $170. So I went to a vitamin shop and got new ones with everything needed equivalent to the $170 according to the pharmacist I kept on the phone

I feel like this should be our perfect time to bond before the baby. Do research together I jus really feel alone and it makes me kinda sad (maybe depressed but I can’t self diagnose). He is difficult to talk to. I jus wish he would understand that I am scared and I need his support without him seeing it as I’m nagging him.

I think I’m just going to distance myself from him for a week & see if he notices. I’ll keep myself busy with friends and family. Maybe the time we do spend together will become more meaningful

Idk sorry for the long rant. I jus feel like because he already has a child he is nonchalant and me being this my first (God willing) that I’m excited. And he isn’t so it’s bringing my spirits down