Marriage & Sex

I got married, last May. I hate when people ask how married life is going. it's hard to pretend that it's going well. I'll start by saying that I almost cancelled the wedding. Six weeks before I found out that he had been lying to me. He hadn't saved any money to help pay for our wedding. He told me he saved $3,000. For months, I kept asking him if he could make some payments or send me the money so I could since due dates were approaching. It turns out that he developed a gambling problem after we for engaged because he was depressed that his dad was diagnosed with cancer, and instead of saving money, he accrued $10,000 of debt. He finally filled me in on the truth six weeks before the wedding. I would have been understanding and supportive if he was open and honest with me the whole time. I almost walked away because he lied many times and apparently can't share his feelings with me. We were best friends for a decade before getting engaged and ultimately I forgave him and went through with the wedding telling myself this was a one time mess up and things would be better. His dad died two weeks after we got married. He didn't want to have sex for months. I understood. In November, we decided we wanted to start trying to get pregnant. I got all happy and excited. I have wanted to be a mother for so long. Well, I haven't gotten pregnant, yet, because I can't get my husband to have sex with me. We fight about it after my fertility window closes each month and we didn't have sex. I feel like he's being dishonest and doesn't really want to get pregnant, right now. He says he does. I remind him that sex is required to achieve that goal. There's a reason my husband won't have sex with me and I can't get an honest answer out of him. He either says he doesn't know or he's not in the mood. Possible reasons; he's still depressed, he doesn't want a kid yet, or he's no longer attracted to me. Every time I try to initiate sex, I get turned down. It's not fun. I have given up trying to have sex with him, last week, after I asked him again why we aren't having sex and I found out that he masterbates at least once a day. So he's in the mood, just not for two player. He's lied a few times to me since we've been married. I'm finding it difficult to trust him and difficult to be happy with him. I thought we would have an incredible marriage and we would always be open and honest with each other. I feel like he's changed. We had a great sex life before. We've been married ten months and have had sex maybe a dozen times. I want to go to couple's counseling to work on our marriage. I can't get him to agree to go. He says everything is fine. I keep telling him, for me, that it isn't. I don't know how much longer I can stand staying in this marriage with nothing changing or improving. I wish he could at least talk to me about what's going on with him. I can't handle any more lies or being kept in the dark about things. If he's not ready to have a kid and he just says that, I can accept that. I cannot accept him saying he wants to start trying to have a kid and then avoiding sex. I need honesty or I cannot trust and I don't want to be married to someone that I don't trust.