I want to be closer to my mom

I just feel as though there are somethings I can’t tell her. I’m dying to tell her everything that’s going on my life. I want her to be my best friend. I’m the baby of the family and I feel like my mother spent my whole childhood trying to protect me. I feel like as I grow up I’m still kinda that little girl and I want to be looked at as an adult and a woman. I want to tell her about my sex life, my interest in sometimes drinking and smoking, what I don’t like about my friends, etc. without her judging and trying to “fix” it. I feel like the phrase “I can tell her anything” doesn’t exist b/w me and her anymore. I also have anxiety and this could be all in my head. Idk, help please.