I made the decision...

My husband and I have been TTC for 5 months now with no success. I know that seems like nothing to some people who have been trying for years but it still sucks when you feel like it should just happen. Well AF showed the F up today and I am going to eat my ice cream and be sad tonight.

However, my decision is to actually stop TTC until I lose weight. I really am convinced that my weight is the issue. I’m so terrified that I’ll miscarry and I will definitely blame myself and poor eating habits. I also am very self conscious that I won’t “look pregnant” or feel beautiful. I’m nervous about the ultra sounds and that I’ll be embarrassed for that process. It’s very very mental!

I want to have better eating habits and exercise habits so they continue throughout my pregnancy and after.

I am 5’9 and weigh about 310 lbs. I would ideally like to be under 250. I really liked my body around 220. So hopefully I can get there.

I need to do this for me and my family. I want this So badly but I want to do it right! I honestly have just been eating horribly and very lazy. I need to change my mindset so that I’m a better person, wife, and Mom.

Anyone else doing this too? I hope I’m not alone in any of my thinking.