I feel so terrible admitting to this. It’s not everyday, but it’s been frequently lately I just find myself looking up my old best friend that I met in 6th grade. I’ve known this guy for almost 13 years. We had differences such as religion, he was very religious and I wasn’t. But, we still were able to be good friends. He’s not my friend anymore because I chose to keep going back to the wrong guy. My now husband. When he found out I was getting married, he quit making an effort to talk to me. He then met a beautiful woman and had a daughter with her. I can’t help going on Instagram and looking at his daughter and wondering if that’s what our child would be like or if that’s what our life would be like. I bet he’s a great dad. He’s definitely faithful. He listens. We dated back in middle school and high school and I took his virginity. He planned on waiting until marriage, but I guess was ready before that. I feel bad for taking it and not being with him. He was always single when I was taken and vice versa. When I was actually single he wasn’t. Then, in December of 2015...we were both single. Went to a bar together as a double date with my sister and her fiancé. We went home together, were both drunk. Slept next to each other but I passed out before anything could happen. He said he rubbed my back for about 30 minutes and then fell asleep. Nothing happened. It was our chance to date and see where it went but I wasn’t over my ex. Which is now my husband. Idk what I seen in my husband at the time to stay, or to wait around for him. But I did. My best friend remained my friend without issue. He wasn’t out to get laid or anything. Fast forward a couple weeks, my ex came back and we started dating again. My best friend was obviously upset but didn’t really voice his opinion about it. He started hanging with the girl he is with now. My ex proposed and I said yes. I tell my best friend and he told me not to marry him. But I did anyways. I don’t regret our marriage. I do feel like I could have married my best friend though. I feel like he was the better choice. The safer, smarter choice. But I love bad guys and that’s what my husband is. We had our son and he never helped at all. He’s cheated on me while I was pregnant. Not physically, emotionally. But since we are married, we are going to counseling. I just hate knowing that I possibly made the wrong choice. I see it daily. He’s such a better husband, and dad. I love our son to death and we wouldn’t have him if I hadn’t chosen my husband. I know the grass isn’t greener on the other side and maybe I did make the right choice for myself. He’s one of those guys you’ll never forget though. I hate feeling this way. Idk how to fix it and let go and accept my path in life. So I think I’m going to delete my social media so I can’t check up on him anymore. Has anyone else been in this situation?