Thinking I need a break

I found out I was pregnant Oct 18. It was a very hard situation I was in. I went to the er because I thought I had a bladder infection they did say I was pregnant and wanted to do blood work and ordered an ultrasound. I was upset because they wouldn't let me see the monitor and my so didn't know what he was looking at. The blood test showed my hcg level was over 33 thousand. But they said that the fetus was to be around 6 weeks when I was actually ten weeks. Up had an ultrasound and ob appointment set up for Nov 21. I went to my first ultrasound Nov 21 and they couldn't find a heartbeat I was crushed. I went to the er that night and I was told my numbers dropped and that I was going to have a miscarriage. Then I had to make myself rid of the tissues the ob had me take cytotec four of them inside me. I woke up with severe cramps at two am and cried. I started bleeding and knew it was over. This was my first miscarriage and would of been due in June. My daughter was looking forward to finally being a big sister. My sister and sister in law were supportive and helped me along and my so held me and allowed me to cry on his shoulder. I'm still emotional each time I see posts on the June board. Thinking I need a break. Now my so is working out of state and is only here once a week until we find a place and him a job. But I just get so upset thinking about this loss. Like we would of known the gender already and picking out names. How do I cope?