Ugh... am I alone

So we have been ttc for 3 years now. My period is never what it was last month. I’ve taken tests and I swear I see a faint line but then I think maybe it’s all in my head. I had just spotting for 2 days. I’m just so blah and part of me wants to give up. I spend soo much on tests. I miss when I didn’t track and things didn’t bother me... ugh. End of vent... sorry for a blurry photo