Depression and weight gain

I’m 23 weeks pregnant with my second child. My first I gained 40lbs fairly evenly throughout my pregnancy. I had no complications and had a natural birth.

This time...🤦🏼‍♀️ I had mild morning sickness 1st trimester which I didn’t gain anything and then once that was over I was hungry all the time and I listened to my body and ate. I started getting pelvic girdle syndrome around 16 weeks and I’m carrying extremely low so I’ve been limited on exercising. Some days even walking hurts too much.

I’m so beyond depressed with the way I look and feel and I’m scared to death that my pelvic complications and my weight gain will prohibit me from having another natural birth and I’m even more afraid of postpartum depression (which I had terribly with my first) due to low self esteem.

Anyone been through this before? I want to love being pregnant like so many people do but I just cant...