So, ladies, I just turned 29 and I’ve never had sex, or a relationship for that matter. I guess lately I’ve just been feeling like I have somehow failed as a woman? And I guess I’m posting this here because I feel like I have to tell someone, anyone; like it’s a conversation I’ve been too embarrassed to have with friends or family.

I’ve never been the girl who has ever needed/wanted a boyfriend. Hell, I had my first, and only, crush at 25 ((and that went nowhere and now he’s galavanting around the world and I am STILL helplessly into him)). Anyway...

I was never interested in the guys who had asked me out in the past, I was far more interested in hanging out with my friends. I didn’t do traditional college, there was never a dorm I could get crazy in - but I’ve been in school for a while now, focusing and working on two BAs.

It’s never been that I wanted to wait until marriage, I’m not religious in the slightest and I think calling a virgin “pure” is ridiculous and implies that sex is inherently dirty, which it isn’t. But that’s a whole other rant.

I’m a big girl, always have been, and I know that’s where most of my insecurities stem from, but I know plenty of big girls who have healthy sex lives so what the hell am I doing wrong?

I guess I’m finally starting to care? I don’t even know what kind of advice I’m looking for - I guess I feel like I’d be crap at sex - crap at anything sexual really - and those thoughts keep me from pursuing any of it. Ever.

In that sense, I suppose I’m in a sort of rock and a hard place kind of place.

Update: Y’all are the absolute sweetest - this community is amazing ❤️❤️❤️ your stories and words have completely pulled me worlds away from yesterday’s funk - thank you all so much 🙏🏻