This is kinda a rant kinda not but whatever

So I haven’t really had a “dad” he left when I was born. Left my mother when she needed him most. He came back into my life in 2016. I had met him for the first time. I finally felt like I “belonged” Like I wasn’t going to forever be the kid in class who didn’t make a Father’s Day card in 4th grade. In 2017 I had surgery in my back. He ditched on my surgery and left me high and dry. I kept telling the doctors, please wait, please wait, but he never showed. I completely ignored him until one day I saw a few texts between my mother and him basically saying that they wanted to get back together. I don’t want him to be in my life like that. Not when he has already broken my heart multiple times. He says he is sorry to me, but I feel like I’m going to be hearing that again in the future. If it makes my mom happy, she can go ahead and see him. I don’t want to hold her back. But sometimes I feel like I’m so alone. Any advice? 😔